tantra
09-11-2005, 01:49 PM
Hey Felllowzz.. Eat this..
Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.
Computer Engineer - One who gets paid for reading mails......
Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
and a fool at the other.
Love affairs - Something like cricket where one-day internationals
are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage - It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master
Divorce - Future tense of marriage
Lecture - An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".
Conference -The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
Compromise -The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears -The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power
Dictionary - A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room - A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.
Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.
Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn -The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc... - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience -The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.
Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.
Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father - A banker provided by nature.
Criminal - A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and such late when you
are early.
Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections
and your confidence after.
Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.
Computer Engineer - One who gets paid for reading mails......
Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
and a fool at the other.
Love affairs - Something like cricket where one-day internationals
are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage - It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master
Divorce - Future tense of marriage
Lecture - An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".
Conference -The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
Compromise -The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears -The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power
Dictionary - A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room - A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.
Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.
Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn -The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc... - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience -The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.
Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.
Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father - A banker provided by nature.
Criminal - A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and such late when you
are early.
Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections
and your confidence after.